“We are what we think.”

“… all we are arises from our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.” The Buddha

These words have been a guiding principle throughout my life, and I’ve tried to instill this philosophy into my son’s mind and heart as well. While this may sound like a lot of new age psycho-babble to some, the actual practice of controlling your thoughts is very hard work.

I will not try to pretend to know how your mind works, but what I can tell you is how mine works and how powerful this practice can be.

There are a few times in my day when my mind is focused and clear- when I am creating a marketing piece for the company that employs me, when I am working out and when I am falling asleep. In these times my mind is fully occupied on the task at hand, so much so that it has become a running joke in the office that, if I am “in the zone” you can run a marching band down the hall and I won’t notice. I suppose I am lucky that I have these spaces in my day that keep me fully present and focused, because the rest of the time my mind is racing around like a wild creature. And when my mind is left to run wild, that is when the practice of control and choice need to be instrumented.

The most dangerous thing is to let your mind run and control the narrative going on in your head when you are in a challenging or stressful situation. Lets take an example that I have encountered several times throughout my career- 4th quarter budget give backs.

Perhaps its just in marketing but from time to time the CFO of an organization will knock on my door and inform me that I need to give back some or all of my unspent budget, cancel all of the plans I have in place, so the company can make its numbers. Just imagine where your mind can go if you just let it run with that for a little while, all of it is negative and none of it leads to a positive outcome.

So what I do is first- recognize this is a situation that needs control. Control situations are usually stressors or negative events that could spin out and impact my career, my family or my health if left unattended.

Second is to recognize the negative paths my mind wants to run down- “My boss doesn’t respect what I do”, “The company is in financial ruin” etc. Its easy to see how damaging these thoughts can be if left to run amuck in my head.

Third and hardest is to reframe the conversation in my head so it takes a positive attitude, and thereby creates a better response and most often, a different outcome in my physical actions. Instead of being a crabby, entitled, negative person I am now a team player, a positive role model, a solid, reliable leader.

Its not always easy but with effort you can create brighter days by choosing to think them into existence.